Well my second night at the Lone Worm Ranch proves that 6 hours of sleep is not enough outlast my worrying. I woke up at four and could not go back to sleep. I am debating between driving to Austin and checking my email and waiting to go there after the electrician comes later today to check out the generator. I am not much of a country bumpkin, as I cannot survive without an Internet connection.
My worry list consists of these items, job, Zakâ€™s birthday, Christmas cards, and being bitten by a Recluse Spider. Anytime my brain starts swirling around the same to-do items that includes one item that for shadows my demise I cannot sleep. In the past I have been pretty good at being able to feel like I had some sort of control over my action items, but now it appears that the action items are getting the best of me. Some of the simple tasks that I use to be able to complete now seem impossible or really complicated.
For instance waking up fixing breakfast and going to work t use to be really easy and now it has not happened for 18 months. I use to crawl under my house in Portland Oregon with no fear of spiders and now I fear that a Recluse Spider may be hiding in my shoes waiting to bit me. Being in an emergency room with no medical insurance is also really scary. I am not sure what I fear most, having a large chunk of my flesh cut off as a result of a Recluse Spider bite or seeing the medical bill after my visit.
I cannot see any shooting stars tonight because the sky is completely overcast with thick clouds. I can hear the train rolling through Winchester 4 miles away. The only two security lights that I can see from the kitchen are located at my Uncle Cliffâ€™s house about 400 yards away and the light at the Mitchkie ranch behind Cliffâ€™s house. The lights on top of the communication towers look eerie as they flash on and off beneath the clouds. The lights on the towers are the only other lights that can be seen from the ranch at night besides the two on the adjoining ranches. Tonight is really dark with the moon being hidden by the clouds.